Talking with kids about being online 2018

Transcript

1 Talking with Kids About Being Online

2 As First Lady, I want to nurture the most valuable part of our society and our future: children. As adults, we take responsibility for helping children manage the many issues they face. So what is the best way to protect our kids online? Talk with them. Communicate your values clearly so your kids can make thoughtful decisions when they face tricky situations. If you have a young person in your life — whether you are a parent or guardian, teacher, police officer, coach, religious or scout leader, relative or friend — I ask you to join me and commit to promoting values such as encouragement, compassion, and respect, both online and offline. The lessons in this booklet can help kids act thoughtfully and kindly. I hope you will use it to have conversations with children about appropriate conduct online and about using social media responsibly. The internet — and technology in general — are powerful forces for good. I believe that, together, we can make a real difference in encouraging positive behavior online. First Lady Melania Trump

3 Communicating online is a way of life, yet it comes with certain risks: People of all Inappropriate conduct • The online world can feel anonymous. Kids ages are: sometimes forget that they’re still accountable for their actions. • Inappropriate contact Some people online have bad intentions. They might connecting with be bullies, predators, hackers, or scammers. friends and family online Inappropriate content • You may be concerned that your kids could find pornography, violence, or hate speech online. Technology is constantly evolving. So are the risks associated with it. You can reduce these risks by talking to your kids about how they communicate — online and off — and encouraging them to think critically and act in a way they can be proud of. downloading apps sharing what they’re and accessing content This guide from the Federal Trade Commission doing — and where covers issues to raise with kids about living their they are lives online. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 Talking to Your Kids sharing photos and videos from Communicating at Different Ages . . . . . . . . . . . 4 mobile devices Socializing Online . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 12 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Using Mobile Devices building online profiles and Making Computer Security a Habit . . . . . . . . . . 18 reputations Protecting Your Child’s Privacy . . . . . . . . . . . . 23

4 ⊲ TALKING TO YOUR KIDS The best way to protect your kids online? Talk to them. Communicate your expectations. While kids value the opinions of their peers, most tend Be honest about your expectations and how they apply to rely on their parents for help on the issues that in an online context. Communicating your values clearly matter most. can help your kids make smarter and more thoughtful decisions when they face tricky situations. For instance, be Start early. specific about what’s off-limits — and what you consider to Young kids see their parents using all kinds of devices — be unacceptable behavior. and also might be playing games or watching shows on them. As soon as your child starts using a phone, mobile Be patient and supportive. device, or computer, it’s time to talk to them about online Resist the urge to rush through these conversations with behavior and safety. your kids. Most kids need to hear information repeated, in small doses, for it to sink in. If you keep talking with Initiate conversations. your kids, your patience and persistence will pay off in the Even if your kids are comfortable approaching you, don’t long run. wait for them to start the conversation. Use everyday Work hard to keep the lines of communication open, even opportunities to talk to your kids about being online. if you learn your kid has done something online that you For example, news stories find inappropriate. about cyberbullying or texting while driving can spur a Listening and taking their feelings into account helps keep conversation with kids about conversations afloat. You may not have all the answers, their experiences and your and being honest about that can go a long way. expectations. 3 // // FTC.gov/KidsOnline 2

5 ⊲ COMMUNICATING AT DIFFERENT AGES Consider parental controls. If you’re concerned about what your Young Kids kids see online, consider tools with these features: Supervision is important. These tools limit access ⊲ Filtering and blocking. When very young children start using mobile devices or a to certain sites, apps, words, or images. Some computer, they should be supervised closely by a parent products decide what’s filtered; others leave or caregiver. If little kids aren’t supervised online, they may that to parents. stumble onto content that could scare or confuse them. This software prevents kids Blocking outgoing content. ⊲ When you’re comfortable that your young children are from sharing personal information online or via email. ready to explore on their own, it’s still important to stay in close touch. You may want to restrict them to sites or apps This software allows you to limit your ⊲ Limiting time. that you’ve visited and know to be appropriate — at least in kid’s time online and set the time of day they can terms of their educational or entertainment value. access the internet. These browsers filter words or Browsers for kids. ⊲ images you don’t want your kids to see. ⊲ Kid-oriented search engines. These perform limited searches or filter search results for sites and material appropriate for kids. Software that alerts parents to online ⊲ Monitoring tools. activity without blocking access. Some tools record the addresses of websites a child has visited; others provide a warning message when a kid visits certain sites. Monitoring tools can be used with or without a kid’s knowledge. These Disabling in-app purchases from your device. ⊲ settings can limit or keep kids from making in-app purchases from your device. 5 // // FTC.gov/KidsOnline 4

6 WHAT CAN YOU DO? Tweens Tweens need to feel “independent” but not alone as they start exploring on their own. Many 8- to 12-year-olds are Talk about credibility. adept at finding information online, but they still need It’s important to emphasize the concept of credibility. Even guidance to help them understand which sources are the most tech-savvy kids need to understand that: trustworthy. • not everything they see on the internet is true Think about limits. information or images they share can • Consider setting limits on how long and be seen far and wide how often they can be online — whether people online may not be who they • on computers, phones, or other mobile appear to be or say they are devices. For younger tweens, parental controls can be effective. However, many middle school kids have the once something is posted online, it’s • technical know-how to get around those controls. nearly impossible to “take it back” Talk about manners. Because they don’t see facial expressions, body language, and other visual cues, teens and tweens may feel free to Teens do or say things online that they wouldn’t offline. Remind them that real people with real feelings are behind profiles, Teens are forming their own values and beginning to screen names, and avatars. take on the values of their peers. Many are eager to experience more independence from their parents. However, they need to learn how to exercise judgment Talk about expectations. about being safe online and act in accordance with their When you talk to your kids, set reasonable expectations. family ethic. Anticipate how you will react if you find out that they’ve done something online you don’t approve of. Teens have more internet access through mobile devices — as well as more time to themselves — so it isn’t realistic If your child confides in you about something scary or for you to try to be in the same room when they’re online. inappropriate they’ve encountered online, try to work They need to know that you and other family members together to prevent it from happening again. can ask them about what they’re doing online. 7 // // FTC.gov/KidsOnline 6

7 Remind kids that once they post it, they can’t take it ⊲ SOCIALIZING ONLINE ⊲ back. Even if they delete the information from a site, they have little control over older versions that may Kids share pictures, videos, thoughts, plans, and their be saved on other people’s devices and may circulate whereabouts with friends, family, and sometimes, the world online. And a message that’s supposed to disappear at large. Socializing online can help kids connect with from a friend’s phone? There are still ways to save it. others, but it’s important to help your child learn how to Tell kids to limit what they share. navigate these spaces safely. ⊲ Help your kids understand what information should Tell them why it’s important to keep some stay private. Oversharing things to themselves. Information like their Social Some pitfalls that come with online Security number, street address, phone number, and socializing are sharing too much information, family financial information is private and should stay or posting pictures, videos, or words that can damage a that way. reputation or hurt someone’s feelings. ⊲ Talk to your teens about avoiding sex talk online. Teens who don’t talk about sex with strangers online WHAT CAN YOU DO? are less likely to come in contact with predators. In fact, researchers have found that predators usually don’t pose as children or teens, and most teens who Remind your kids that online actions have are contacted by adults they don’t know find it creepy. consequences. Teens should ignore or block them, and trust their gut The words kids write and the images they post have when something feels wrong. consequences offline. Tell kids it’s more than what they post. ⊲ Information may Kids should post only what they’re comfortable with ⊲ be collected and shared even if kids are not posting it. Parts of your children’s profiles may be others seeing. For example, what sites they visit, social media activity, seen by a broader audience than you — or they — are or answers on quizzes may be shared or used for comfortable with, even if they use privacy settings. advertising. Encourage your kids to think about the language they Limit access to your kids’ profiles. use online, and to think before posting pictures and Many social networking sites, ⊲ Use privacy settings. videos, or altering photos posted by someone else. chat, and video accounts have adjustable privacy Employers, college admissions officers, coaches, settings, so you and your kids can restrict who has teachers, and the police may view these posts. access to kids’ profiles. Talk to your kids about the 9 // // FTC.gov/KidsOnline 8

8 importance of these settings, and your expectations for Could your kid be the bully? Look for who should be allowed to view their profile. signs of bullying behavior, such as creating mean images of another kid. Suggest that your kids Review your child’s friends list. ⊲ limit online “friends” to people they actually know. Ask ⊲ Encourage your kids to speak up. about who they’re talking to online. Cyberbullying usually stops pretty quickly when someone speaks up. If your kids see cyberbullying happening to someone Cyberbullying else, encourage them to try to stop it by telling the bully Cyberbullying is bullying or harassment that happens to stop, and by not engaging or forwarding anything. online. It can happen in an email, a text message, an If your kid sees a friend post something thoughtless, online game, or on a social networking site. It might encourage them to talk to that friend. involve rumors or images posted on someone’s profile or circulated for others to see. Another way to help stop bullying online is to report it to the site or network where you see it. WHAT CAN YOU DO? What to do about a cyberbully. If your child is targeted by a Don’t react to the bully. ⊲ Help prevent cyberbullying. cyberbully, keep a cool head. Remind your child that most people realize bullying is wrong. Tell your child not Talk to your kids about bullying. Tell your kids that they ⊲ to respond in kind. Instead, encourage your kid to work can’t hide behind the words they type and the images with you to save the evidence and talk to you about they post or send. Bullying is a lose-lose situation: it. If the bullying persists, share the record with school Hurtful messages make the target feel bad, and they officials or local law enforcement. make the sender look bad. Often they can bring scorn from peers and punishment from authorities. ⊲ Protect your child’s profile. If your child finds a profile that was created or altered without their permission, Cyberbullying Recognize the signs of a cyberbully. ⊲ contact the site to have it taken down. often involves mean-spirited comments. Check out your kid’s social networking pages from time to time to see ⊲ Block or delete the bully. Delete the bully what you find. from friends lists or block their user name, email address, and phone number. 11 // // FTC.gov/KidsOnline 10

9 Get familiar with location-based services. ⊲ USING MOBILE DEVICES Many mobile phones have GPS technology installed. Kids with these phones can pinpoint where their What age is appropriate for a kid to have a phone or a friends are — and be pinpointed by their friends. Tell mobile device? That’s something for you and your family to your kids to limit these features so they’re not broadcasting decide. Consider your kid’s age, personality, maturity, and their location to the world. Explain that there can be your family’s circumstances. downsides to letting anyone and everyone know where they are. But there also are GPS services (offered by some carriers) that let parents map their kid’s location. WHAT CAN YOU DO? Password protect phones. A password, numeric code, gesture, or fingerprint can lock Phones, Features, and Options a phone from intruders. Not only can this prevent “pocket- dialing,” but it also can help keep information and photos Decide on the right options and features. from falling into the wrong hands. Your wireless company and mobile phone should give you some choices for privacy settings and child safety controls. Most carriers allow parents to turn off features like web Develop Rules access, texting, or downloading apps. You also can disable in-app purchases so your kid doesn’t accidentally rack up Explain what you expect. huge charges playing their favorite game. Talk to your kids about when and where it’s appropriate to use their phones and other mobile devices. You also may Get smart about smartphones. want to establish rules for responsible use. Do you allow Many phones offer web access and calls, texting, or playing games on apps at the dinner table? mobile apps. If your children are Do you have rules about cell phone use at night? Should going to use a phone and you’re they give you their phones while they’re doing homework, concerned about what they might or when they’re supposed to be sleeping? find online, choose a phone with limited internet access or turn on Set an example. web filtering. It’s illegal to drive while texting or talking on the phone without a hands-free device in most states, but it’s dangerous everywhere. Set an example for your kids, and talk to them about the dangers and consequences of distracted driving. 13 // 12 FTC.gov/KidsOnline //

10 Mobile Sharing and Networking Mobile Apps Socializing and sharing on-the-go can foster creativity What should I know about apps? and fun, but could cause problems related to personal Apps might: reputation and safety. • collect and share personal information Use care when sharing photos and videos. • let your kids spend real money — even if the app is free Most mobile phones have camera and video capability, making it easy include ads • for teens to capture and share every • link to social media moment. Encourage kids to get permission from the photographer or But the apps might not tell you they’re doing it. the person in the shot before posting videos or photos. It’s easier to be smart WHAT CAN YOU DO? upfront about what media they share than to do damage control later. Here’s what you and your kids can do to learn about an app before you download it: Use good judgment with social networking from a mobile device. look at screen shots ⊲ The filters you’ve installed on your home computer read the description, content rating, ⊲ won’t limit what kids can do on a mobile device. Talk to and user reviews your teens about using good sense when they’re social networking from their phones, too. do some research on the developer, ⊲ including outside reviews from sources you respect check what information the app collects ⊲ 15 // 14 FTC.gov/KidsOnline //

11 Can I restrict how my kids use apps? Recognize text message spam. Before you pass the phone or tablet to your kids, take a Help your kids recognize text message spam and explain the consequences: look at the settings. You may be able to: it often uses the promise of free gifts — or asks you • ⊲ to what’s right for your kid’s age restrict content to verify account information — to get you to reveal ⊲ set a password so apps can’t be downloaded without it, personal information and kids can’t buy stuff without it it can lead to unwanted charges on your cell phone bill • ⊲ turn off Wi-Fi and data services or put the phone in it can slow cell phone performance • airplane mode so it can’t connect to the internet The best way to keep up with kids’ apps is to try them out yourself, and talk to your kids about your rules for buying WHAT CAN YOU DO? and using apps. Review your cell phone bill for unauthorized charges, and report them to your carrier. Tell your kids: Texting to delete messages that ask for personal information ⊲ Encourage manners. — even if there’s a promise of a free gift. Legitimate If your kids are texting, encourage them companies don’t ask for information like account to respect others. Texting shorthand can numbers or passwords by email or text. lead to misunderstandings. Tell them to not to reply to — or click on — links in the message. ⊲ think about how a text message might be Links can install malware and take you to spoof sites read and understood before they send it. that look real, but that exist to steal your information. Safeguard privacy. Remind your kids to: Sexting: Don't Do It Sending or forwarding sexually explicit photos, videos, or ignore texts from people they don’t know ⊲ messages from a mobile device is known as “sexting.” Tell learn how to block numbers from their cell phone ⊲ your kids not to do it. In addition to risking their reputation and their friendships, they could be breaking the law if they ⊲ avoid posting their cell phone number online create, forward, or even save this kind of message. Teens never provide personal or financial information in ⊲ may be less likely to make a bad choice if they know the response to a text consequences. 17 // // FTC.gov/KidsOnline 16

12 Teaching Kids Computer Security MAKING COMPUTER ⊲ Talk to your kids about how they can help protect their SECURITY A HABIT devices and your family’s personal information. The security of your computer, phone, and other mobile Create strong passwords, and keep them private. devices can affect the safety of your online experience Take a look at the passwords that you and your kids use. — and that of your kids. Malware could allow someone To better protect your accounts, make passwords at least to steal your family’s personal or financial information. twelve characters that include upper- and lowercase Malware is software that can: letters, numbers, and symbols. Avoid common words and install viruses • phrases, or information like your address. Use different • monitor or control your computer use passwords for different accounts. That way, if a hacker gets into one account, he can’t get into others. • send unwanted pop-up ads redirect your device to websites you’re • Don’t provide personal or financial information not looking for unless the website is secure. record your keystrokes • If you or your kids send messages, share photos, use social networks, or bank online, you’re sending personal information over the internet. Teach your kids: if the WHAT CAN YOU DO? https URL doesn’t start with , don’t enter any personal information. That “s” means the information you’re sending ⊲ Use security software and keep it updated. is encrypted and protected. Well-known companies offer plenty of free options. Set the software to update automatically. ⊲ Keep your operating system, web browser, and apps up to date. Hackers take advantage of software that Watch out for “free” stuff. doesn’t have the latest security updates. Free games, apps, music, and other downloads can hide If your family’s accounts support multi-factor ⊲ malware. Don’t download anything unless you trust the authentication, consider using it. Using your password source. Teach your kids how to recognize reputable plus another piece of information to log in helps protect sources. your account, even if your password is compromised. The second piece of information could be a code sent to your phone, or a random number generated by an app or token. 19 // // FTC.gov/KidsOnline 18

13 Back up your files regularly. Using Public Wi-Fi Securely No system is completely secure. Many public places — like coffee shops, libraries, and If you or your kids have important airports — offer Wi-Fi hotspots. These hotspots can be files, copy them to an external convenient, but they’re often not secure. That could make hard drive or cloud storage. If your it easy for someone else to access your family’s online computer is attacked by malware, you’ll still have access to accounts or steal your personal information — including your files. private documents, photos, and passwords. Secure your home network. WHAT CAN YOU DO? Your home has a wireless network if you use wireless internet there. Securing that network will protect your Don ’ t use Wi-Fi to access personal or financial family’s devices from hackers, along with protecting your information. personal or financial information. Remind your kids that Wi-Fi is unsecured. That means other users on the network can see what you Here are a few easy steps to secure your network: see and send. Your family’s personal information, private documents, login credentials and more Encryption scrambles the Activate encryption. ⊲ could be up for grabs. information you send over the internet into a code so others can’t access it. It’s the most effective way to The easiest solution? Make it a family policy to save your secure your network. online shopping, banking, and other personal transactions for when you are on your home network. Then make sure Your computer, router, and other equipment must use your home network is encrypted. If you’re on the go, use the same encryption. WPA2 is strongest; use it if you your mobile data — and tell your kids to do the same. have a choice. Use secure websites. Hackers Change your router’s pre-set password(s). ⊲ A secure site will encrypt your information while you are know the default passwords, so change it to something signed in to it — even if the network doesn’t. How will your more complex (see password tips on p. 19). in https kids know if a site is secure? Tell them to look for Just like your other Keep your router up to date. ⊲ the web address of every page they visit — not just when devices, the software on your router needs occasional they log in. updates to be secure and effective. Don’t stay permanently signed in to accounts. Recommend that your kids log out when they’ve finished using a site. 21 // // FTC.gov/KidsOnline 20

14 Phishing Scams ⊲ PROTECTING YOUR Phishing is when scam artists send texts, emails, or pop- CHILD’S PRIVACY up messages to get people to share their personal and financial information. Scammers use this information to As a parent, you have control over the personal access your accounts, steal your identity, and commit fraud. information companies collect online from your kids under 13. The Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA) gives you tools to do that. WHAT CAN YOU DO? The Federal Trade Commission enforces the COPPA Rule. Here’s how you and your kids can avoid getting tricked by If a site or service is covered by COPPA, it has to get your scam artists. consent before collecting personal information from your child, and it has to honor your choices about how that Don’t reply to texts, emails, or pop-up messages that ⊲ information is used. ask for personal or financial information , and don’t click on any links in the message. What is COPPA? ⊲ or Be cautious about opening any attachments downloading any files from emails you receive, The COPPA Rule was put in place to protect kids’ personal regardless of who sent them. Unexpected files may information on websites and online services — including contain viruses that your friends or family members apps — that are directed to didn’t know were there. children under 13. The Rule also applies to a general audience site Get your kids involved ⊲ , so they can develop their that knows it’s collecting personal scam “antennas” and careful internet habits. Look for information from kids that age. teachable moments — if you get a phishing message, show it to your kids to help them understand that things COPPA requires those sites and services to notify parents aren’t always what they seem. directly and get their approval before they collect, use, or disclose a child’s personal information. How to report phishing scams. Forward phishing emails to [email protected] . They will be added to a database that law enforcement agencies use to pursue investigations. If you or your kids were tricked by a . /Complaint FTC.gov phishing scam, report it to 23 // // FTC.gov/KidsOnline 22

15 Personal information in the world of COPPA includes, Others may have a toll-free number you can call. If you for example, a kid’s: agree to let the site or service collect personal information from your child, it has a legal obligation to keep it secure. phone number or email address • • name physical whereabouts • • address What Are Your Choices? • Social Security number Start by ⊲ Understand the site’s information practices. reading how the company plans to use your child’s • photos, videos, and audio recordings of the child information. • persistent identifiers, like IP addresses, that can be used Decide how much ⊲ Be picky with your permission. to track a child’s activities over time and across different consent you want to give. For example, you might give websites and online services the company permission to collect your child’s personal information, but not allow it to share that information How Does COPPA Work? with others. Let’s say your child wants to use features on a site or ⊲ Know your rights. Once you give a site or service download an app that collects their personal information. permission to collect personal information from your Before they can, you should get a plain language notice child, you’re still in control. As the parent, you have the about what information the site will collect, how it will use right to review the information collected about your it, and how you can provide your consent. child. If you ask to see the information, keep in mind that The notice should link to a privacy policy that’s easy to website operators need to make sure you are the parent understand. The privacy policy must give details about before providing you access. You also have the right to the kind of information the site collects, and what it retract your consent any time, and to have information might do with the information — say, if it plans to use the collected about your child deleted. information to target advertising to a child, or give or sell the information to other companies. In addition, the policy What if it looks like a site or service is breaking should tell you how to contact someone who can answer the rules? your questions. If you think a site has collected information from your kids or marketed to them in a way that violates the law, report it Sites and services have some flexibility in . to the FTC at FTC.gov /Complaint how they get your consent. For example, some may ask you to send back a permission slip. 25 // // FTC.gov/KidsOnline 24

16 Want to know more? The FTC has free resources you can use. ⊲ Find more about online safety for parents and kids: FTC.gov/KidsOnline ⊲ Order free materials to share: FTC.gov/Bulkorder FTC.gov/Scams Get scam alerts: ⊲ ⊲ FTC.gov/Complaint Spot a scam? Report it: 27 // // FTC.gov/KidsOnline 26

17 FTC.gov/KidsOnline To order brochures about keeping kids safe online, visit FTC.gov/Bulkorder . Federal Trade Commission // May 2018

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